Dear blogger,

Please help me deliver this heartfelt letter to my future husband. I want to tell him the TRUTH, no holds barred. I have this feeling he will get to read it and since I don’t have the boldness to be quite frank face to face, I will rather use your medium. Deliver it as soon as you can and please endeavour to get a reply from him. Thanks in anticipation.

Dear future husband, erm… where do I actually start from?… okay…I want to say first that I will love you with the whole of my heart after God. Trust me on this; it is like the only thing I will never doubt. Come rain, come sunshine. Remember it will take me a lot before I finally make my choice at the altar in front of family, church members and well-wishers. So once I have made that choice, do not ever, ever doubt it. It is for real, in sickness and in health, for better or worse till death do us part.

But there are a few things to iron out…

The days may not be all rosy and we may not be all lovey-dovey. I may not remain that super-sweet sixteen you fell in love with and affirmed before God and man. The shape will change due to child bearing and age. Laughter lines will appear on the once smooth chin. It is all part of the process because I know you will change as well. Don’t be disappointed at such time, the physical is all packaging- it’s the content that matters. Isn’t it?

I love to talk about equal rights for men and women, not because I want to usurp authority or become the head of the home. No! Far from it! What I want is equal right to speak, to share opinions and let both count, to reach out for the stars and not let anything stop anyone’s dream. I believe the man is the head of the home but that tittle is not meant to be honorary, it is meant to be earned like a university doctorate degree… oh! I hope I am not being outrageous? Okay don’t be fearful, what I mean is, the tittle is supposed to be worth it. A man is supposed to be responsible and not lazying around, squaring shoulders and saying “I am a man” when his family is languishing in hunger. Okay, simply put: a man should work, I mean WORK.

Another thing is I need to be myself around you, I will not be dolled up at home, the makeup will be washed, I will crack chicken bones without mercy, I will belch loudly sometimes, I will remove my cute jewelleries and accessories, my wigs will come off, I would not wear suit with marching camisole, I will be in my elements. We live in the tropics and it is getting hotter by the day, sometimes I might need to tie only a wrapper around my chest for preservation of sanity especially when there is no power supply. Be prepared, but don’t worry I will accept you in your elements too. After all, it does not change the content- the real you and me.

Sometimes, I may be annoying, I might be pissed off and say things that are mean. Things that are not funny or things that do not sound nice. But let me let you know, I really do not mean them. That are just hasty words, I will think over it and apologise. For real, I will never mean them. I agree you will be annoying too and I will take everything in good fate.

Okay, so because I said men should work does not mean I would not work. I love to work, to earn money, to be a help-mate.  After all, the university degree I earned was not to get something to hang as a portrait on the wall. Errm, but we need to share chores as well. Go learn how to change diapers, how to bathe children, how to clean the floor, how to cook, in short be domesticated. It is very cute. And oh well, I know how to wash cars, how to handle the cutlass and hoe and I will learn how to fix the bulb. Isn’t that cute?

There are times that I don’t want to wear my Brazilian, Peruvian or Indian weaves or even wigs. I want to go out with my hair, yes-my natural hair combed out and styled into different forms. I need fresh air and I hear the hair needs to breathe as well. So bear with me, It is all for good. Right?

Well, I would have to stop here. Above all, I desire a happy home and I will put in so much effort to make sure it remains happy and I want you to do the same. We need to be able to play together and pray together. There will be laughter and disagreements but we need to find the fun in life because it is too short to be bearing grudges and keeping records of hurts. We may not be perfect at first but we can get better by the day. That said, I need your reply. 

From me: Future wife.

Are there other ladies who share the sender’s opinion? Feel free to drop your comments. And to the men, what do you think? Drop your comments as well. Thanks.