You know they say the grass on your neighbour’s lawn is greener and luscious because he watered it and worked at trimming and pruning it and not because he left it alone expecting some magic to happen.
Well here I am just realizing that almost a little late – I only hope it is not totally late. I cannot afford to wait any minute longer because it might be late: I mean late forever.
I just hopped into my car and zoomed past the security men at the gate of the high class restaurant where I just had a life changing discussion with my parents and friends, I am sure the men must be thinking I am a psychiatric patient on the loose and may soon be caught and returned back to the psychiatric home.
Well, for your information-I am not but if care is not taken –I might be.
The words of my best friend kept ringing in my ears “Chioma, your life is in your hands and do not let anyone live it for you. Go back and take control”
I stepped on the accelerator and continued as fast and careful as possible. I needed to get home fast.
I wanted a divorce after nineteen years of marriage and for no just reason I decided to call my friends and parents to a meeting and officially tell them so they would not be shocked and what I get in return is a nudge to go back and repair the broken pieces of my home and heart.
I had prepared for the meeting, rehearsed my line very well and I was not thinking of retreat and so when everyone was complete I looked at each of them for two seconds each and blurted out:
“I am getting a divorce this week”
My mum was not surprised.
She gave a faint smile and stretched her hands to take mine across the table.
My father looked like someone who was going to enter a hypertensive shock.
My friends, Joke and Nkem could not mask their shock.
“You are joking right?” My dad finally said.
“No, Dad, I am damn serious”
“Common Chioma, you that I am still envying that your life is perfect. Be serious and stopping cracking dry jokes girl” Joke said
“Babe, I am serious, nothing about my life is perfect. My husband does not love me any longer, he takes me for granted, complains about my weight, does not flaunt me in front of his friends and rarely spends the evenings with me again. Instead he prefers to go the club or game centers with his friends. My children seem to be out of control and since they have noticed a rift between us the parents, they disobey me flagrantly and I think they are gradually seeking love elsewhere. I cannot imagine my eighteen year old daughter in the hands of a grown man but I caught her. It is devastating.”
I held my head as I fought to shake of the picture of the scene from my head. Tears slowly dropped from my eyes.
My friends and father were completely speechless and Dad looked like some billionaire stock investor who just heard that the stock market for the day closed at a fifty percent loss.
My mum, calm as usual asked
“so do you think a divorce is the way out?”
“Mum is it not?” I asked; eyebrows raised and a glint of anger in my eyes.
“No my daughter I doubt it. If we keep running away from our problems, they will keep following us. What is best is that we face it, headlong; we need to attack it like a boxer in the ring who would not jump out of the ring because he is wounded. He continues to try until he cannot any longer.”
Nkem spoke up,
“Chioma, I am sorry about all what has been happening but we both know that your life seems just fine. It never even crossed my mind that you wanted to come and talk about divorce. I want you to know that no one has the perfect spouse but we keep working at improving on ourselves and our marriage. You see, when you see my husband and I laugh and smile in public, it is not that we do not have issues but we learned that life is too short to spend a part of it being sad so we decided to live it each moment at a time and even when we have our financial issues we do not let it weigh us down. And sincerely, we overcome it somehow.”
Then she gave a soft chuckle,
“Isn’t life not funny, I that always thought you were a lucky girl to marry a financially buoyant guy who does not hesitate to spoil you with gifts while myself and my husband have to bring out our calculators before we buy clothes so we would not go hungry. My dear, you can still win your husband back and hit the gym girl if your husband complains about your size. You had better be happy he has not started bringing hot girls home to mock you but you have to become that hot chick he married before it becomes too late.
My father nodded and looked at me-who had been crying all the while my friend was talking.
Joke moved her chair closer to mine, slid her hands across my shoulders and offered me her handkerchief.
I took it and wiped my face and sweaty forehead.
“Don’t worry dear, it is never too late to win your husband back and your children. Just start to pay extra attention to them, they will find it awkward initially but nobody finds it difficult to resist love. Your daughter can become your friend and you can become her confidant. And your son can become a good child again. It is better you work to draw him closer now before he enters college and give in to peer pressure to join cults or various dangerous gangs in search of friendship and power. I used to envy you that your children are beautiful and very intelligent. Mine seem to have half-brain and I spend a fortune on extra-tutorials for them before they can catch up with their mates but I am still grateful that they are good children and I am positive that no matter their ability they will still succeed. So my friend, your case is like the least of all the problems brought to the table today. Your life is in your hands.”
My mother smiled again; I do not know how she manages to remain calm not matter the disturbance around her.
“You see, my only daughter, when I was going to get married to your father I held on to one principle –never to compare myself with another person and to live each day at a time. That is why I am never fazed; I always know that things will eventually sort out itself.”
She wiped my forehead with her hands and told me
“Do not compare yourself with anyone. You can even see that your friends do not have the perfect lives but they are happy so go get your husband and children back before it gets too late. All your complains are not things you cannot handle and I hope he is not beating you?”
“No mum, he is not”
“Good! So my sweetie, the time is now!”
My father finally found his voice “the bible says, they that compare themselves with themselves are not wise. So Chioma, do not compare yourself with anyone but rather face your own troubles. The greener patch in your neighbour’s lawn is watered and pruned. Divorce would not give you the peace you think you will get.”
I stood, pushed the chair backwards and told them thank you as I raced out of the restaurant. I need to go get my husband before he makes real his threat of bringing another lady home today.
My friends called out “All the best”.
I wish myself all the best too anyway!