It has been a long time I wrote a piece so I decided to bring my pen to paper today and here is an hilarious piece. Don’t be selfish, SHARE!

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It’s a beautiful Sunday morning, I love to go to church so it made sense that I was already seated in church at 7.58am. I am single guy with no entanglements, above-average earnings, good looks and great relationship skills;  I have a lot to be thankful to God for. Well, one clause, I have been out of a relationship for over a year and I have had time to heal, reflect and re-strategize. I am as ready as can be for another one, preferably one that will lead to marriage. Infact, I recall making jokes with my friends that once I see a sense-making lady, I will marry her within three months before she changes her mind like my ex.  

Hold on, so about my ex, it was my fault – I must confess. The relationship lasted for four years – four good years! After the fourth year, Aunty practically looked me in the face and told me she was leaving. I was shocked. I had not achieved the earning capacity that I dreamed of hence the hesitancy. Well, I still did not propose to her so she left for good or should I say better because I still stalk her online and she is now married to a great man. My loss!

Back to my gist, I had the whole year to reflect, pursue my dreams and I got a better job, so now, I am ready. I was in the spirit of worship today when a beautiful lady walked into church and sat beside me. The single guy in me stylishly glanced right and thought, could this be “the one”? She was tall, her head was at about my shoulder height; she wore an A-shape sky-blue buttoned gown, she had a black belt snatched at the waist, her hair looked newly made under the slightly revealing scarf, her black stilettos matched her suede bag – oh la la!

I was distracted.

I swallowed hard. This is not going to be easy for me, I tried not to gape but I was quick to check her ring finger, it was empty. Great!

The service went fast with her within my space. All I was thinking of was how to get her to give me her phone number without being aggressive. I observed how she worshipped with passion, followed every scripture reading and immersed herself in the service. I was there daydreaming of her walking down the aisle with me. My genotype is AA so I had less things to worry about. Proud right? I know.

Well, as soon as the service was over, I was just about to say hi to her as we walked outside the auditorium and boom, a young girl runs towards her with excitement yelling, “mummy, mummy”. I froze for some split seconds as I saw her engulf the kid in her arms, swirl her around and give her a warm hug and kiss.

An alarm rang in my head “lost case! I repeat lost case!”

Another voice said, “what if she was just a single mother? There is nothing wrong with single mums right?”

I struggle with both thoughts a bit and my stubborn-self prevailed.

I said hi to her and started a conversation. She was calm and answered me warmly. Two minutes into the conversation as we walk towards the car lot, I mention that I was a chemical engineer and she says;  

“Oh, so is my husband”

An alarm goes off again and now I am stuck with how to politely end that conversation because “hello ma, if we are not dating, we can’t be in the same space, I would not be able to breathe.”

She, unsuspecting of anything, went on to mention where her husband works and guess what?

He is one of the managers at my workplace.

Fam, I awkwardly end the conversation and fled to my car.

I entered my car and hit the steering hard “Women wear your wedding ring everywhere, especially beautiful women!”

I screamed to no one in particular but to everyone fine woman out there.

Anyways, that is how I am still single this Sunday evening. We move another day. Laughs.

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Written by yours truly, follow me on instagram @opydorcas

Let us know in the comment section if you have had a similar experience or knows some that has. lol.